How does one even begin to tap into a sense of vulnerability, one that has been seemingly lost to the currents of reality over time? One that understood my immediate inclinations so well; far better than the architecture of the cold, concrete structures I had so built up in my mind over the years to navigate all that is happenstance, inadvertent and not?

Have I lost all sense of receptiveness, become too hardened by the harsh tones of the past few years? Have I, in the process of building unassailable fortresses to keep the disquieting out, ended up doing the opposite of what was truly intended, which was to shield myself from the very jadedness that I saw took hold of all who were my age right now, exactly a decade ago?

I find myself once again in tumultuous spaces that bubble to the surface when I am most idle, unable to take a step further most times, for I cannot determine my what bearings are as swimmingly as I used to, the worst type of ineptness at its finest, a consequence of having shut my truer self out from myself for so long.

Perhaps the real and only resolution this year, would be to once again traverse the deepest recesses of my own human condition.